Aligned Fitness Ministry

Have you ever felt like you are in a rut with your spirituality and religion? Because to be transparent, that’s where I have been faced with for the past few days. I didn’t start really diving into God’s word until March 2022. I have been a believer for a while but was caught up in conviction and felt guilty for not reading the Bible. I wanted to keep a superficial relationship with God. At times I felt like I was living a double life. One where I would pray in the morning and speak hate or gossip about others a few hours later. This isn’t the example I wanted to set for my daughter, this isn’t how I wanted to portray Christianity or the discipleship of God.

Even though I was only superficially a child of God, I still felt the yearning in my heart to do more. I remember living in sin and telling myself “God will forgive me later.” I hated that chapter of my life for so long, but it was so necessary for me to realize the idosacracy of that way of thinking. 

“Whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.” Mathew 10:33

This scripture was so convincing in my time of rebellion. I realized the wedge I was forcing between my husband and I, and didn’t like where my life was leading. I recognized my broken spirit always seeked fulfillment in external possessions, to chase worldly things and the wrong people. Once I recognized my destructive behaviors and how they were hurting the ones I loved, I decided to renovate my life. Piece by piece, day by day, cutting off people who were so bad for me, and drawing closer to God, to trusted friends, family, my husband and marriage. 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new relation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

I turned to God in my time of need in 2019, and started to superficially seek him in 2020. But even he knew the superficial relationship we had would deepen. I was redeemed, he did that for me and he can do that for you. He placed roots in me during this time, and helped me recognize my values. At times I still struggle with this trust I’ve placed in God. I question his plans and seeds he plants. Due to my own insecurities or fear of what others think. I’m here to remind you friends, don’t give up on the seed, you can bear a fruitful harvest with the Lord as your gardener. Don’t cave when things feel hard, keep pushing forward and loving unconditionally. God is here to guide us, give us wisdom and love us if we accept him. So even when things aren’t going the way you’d hoped, keep showing up for him. Keep showing up for yourself, your family, your kids. Because you’re exactly where you’re meant to be at this moment. As painful, lonely or inconsistent as life feels, you were meant to be in this moment. 

Thank goodness for his grace!

Kelsey Cooke